sometimes the hardest conversations i have are in my head rather than having them with the person i need to talk to the most. i then find i’m unable to express myself, even when he knows something is wrong. because i already worked it all up in my head that the conversation could go badly, he wouldn’t understand, he’d hate me or create all these other scenarios it could possibly turn into when really it started out as something so simple as saying I’m nervous.
i’ve learned i have to diffuse it from the start because in reality the entire reason i want to talk to this person the most is because i trust him enough that he won’t judge me or hate me or anything. i know he will listen to me and talk it out with me. because when i talk it out to myself rather than who i want to talk to, everything comes out completely wrong or about something that has nothing to do with my problem and i act in ways i never have. then it’s that version of me he ends up thinking i am because that’s how i presented myself. but really it’s not who i am.
it hurts to have someone look at you differently, it hurts even more when you look at yourself differently and can’t remember who you are because you’re too far gone into your head.
Whose feet are worthy
to enter the garden?
Whose eyes are worthy
of the cypress and the jasmine?
The feet and eyes of a heart
that has been broken.
(Source: noor3amoor, via awildheaven)
Brett Amory: "Waiting"
“The painting series entitled “Waiting” depicts the urban individual’s yearning for presence and the seeming impossibility of attaining it. The paintings portray commuters in transit immersed in either a quiet, even hopeful state or, alternately, an anguish of unfulfilled anticipation.”
(Source: k-a-t-r-i-n-a-13, via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)
"So as we walked through fields of green
Was the fairest sun I’d ever seen
And I was broke, I was on my knees
And you said yes as I said please…"